It's a known fact that emotions tend to impair our judgment and for this reason a lot of people do precisely what they shouldn't do when they are faced with the pain of a breakup. When dealing with any kind of challenge it is better to first stop the bleeding and only then sort out the issue that caused it in the first place. This guideline absolutely applies to human relationships. Clearly, there were difficulties that have caused the breakup and these will have to be sorted out in due time in order to win back an ex, however to start with we need to concentrate on the short-term solutions you could apply.
We as humans are hard-wired not to feel attraction whenever we see certain things, so the first thing you must do would be to avoid such behavior. In brief, this means you must stop being over-agreeable, passive and weak. Even when they usually do not consciously recognize it, women usually search for strong men who are independent and can give them protection. There are actually four major mistakes men make when attempting to win back an ex:
Mistake #1: Thinking that being a nice guy increases your chances
Our society is infected with the belief that being a "nice guy" is exactly what women truly search for, but absolutely nothing is further from the truth. By simply blindly agreeing with everything your girlfriend or wife says and does, you'll never have a successful relationship, unless of course you are focused on control freaks. Conflict usually sparks interest and attraction, while being predictable, insecure and passive offers nothing except boredom and monotony.
Mistake #2: Putting logic into the discussion
There is absolutely no way you'll be able to argue an individual into coming back to you. You could logic yourself out of a relationship, but the other way around does not work. Emotions are felt, not understood. Your heart responds to actions and stimuli, and not logic.
Mistake #3: Virtually humiliating yourself
A lot of men act like a doormat by employing phrases like "Please don't leave me, I will do anything you want!" If a woman comes back to you after you act like this, you can actually be certain that she will leave you once more after a couple of weeks.
Mistake #4: Spending lots of money on gifts and flowers
Please don't get me wrong, there is certainly nothing wrong with simply being generous, but offering gifts needs to be practiced for something besides trying to spark attraction. Quite the contrary! By showering a woman with gifts what you do is communicate that you don't value yourself very much and you think you have to give her stuff in exchange for love.
In conclusion, there's nothing wrong with having to deal with a breakup. It happens to everyone and it's a fact of life. However, the thing that makes a difference is the way you cope with it and a lot of the time the counter-intuitive actions are those that work the most effectively when attempting to win back an ex.
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